I tried to tell my manager that I was a minor so I could get sent home early and he was like “too bad I saw you at the bar the other night”. Well that backfired.
Adulthood doesn’t mean you stop drinking juice pouches and eating fruit snacks. It means buying your own.
and mixing them with vodka
At 3 in the morning while marathoning your favorite show because nobody can tell you to go to bed.
And then regretting your decisions the next morning.
Because you have to work.
and make more money to buy fruit snacks and juice pouches.and vodka
NOTHING BETTER THAN SHOWERING AND PUTTING ON A BIG TSHIRT AND GETTING INTO BED WITH CLEAN SHEETS LITERALLY NOTHING DON’T FIGHT ME ON THIS
I’m pretty sure I have a social life, mother. They don’t call them social networks for no reason.
Straight boys like “lets threesome” but can’t even please one woman
ATTENTION EVERYONE THIS IS THE REALEST SHIT I’VE EVER READ
Just say “sure babe, let’s get another guy in here” and see how quickly they shut down.